Understanding the Hardest Part of Your Grief Journey
Grief is such a personal and complex experience, and what’s hardest about it can differ so much depending on what you've lost and where you are in your journey. I want to explore some of the different challenges people face during their grief journeys and consider ways to navigate these difficult emotions.
Financial and Identity Struggles
For those who have lost a job, the hardest part of grief might be financial instability. The anxiety about making ends meet can be overwhelming, compounded by concerns about how others perceive you, especially if you’re older and worried about finding new employment. This kind of grief often affects one's sense of identity and self-worth, making it crucial to address both practical and emotional needs.
The Void of Losing a Loved One
Losing someone close, such as a parent, sibling, or best friend, can leave a profound void. This emptiness is not just emotional but also practical, as routines and roles in life are disrupted. When my college roommate passed away from cancer, her family struggled with the sudden surplus of time and the deep sense of loss. Over time, they found new ways to fill their lives, though the process of adjusting was gradual and filled with varied emotions.
I felt this void when my dad died. Suddenly I was without my weekly telephone call with him, something we both enjoyed. The emptiness felt very raw and I remember thinking, who am I going to have a phone call with now. Over time, the void dissipated and the time was filled with something else.
Multiple Layers of Loss
Grieving multiple losses within a short period can be incredibly tough. One of my Yoga for Grief students faced the deaths of several friends and family members over a few years, compounded by ongoing illnesses in the family. It was difficult for her. She felt like there wasn't enough time for her to mourn or grieve each individual and each loss because they came so close together. It was complicated and complex.
The Importance of Therapy
One of the things to think about when you find yourself in a situation where you can't find a way to unpack your grief - it feels to layered and overwhelming - is talking to to a qualified professional. Both individual and group therapy can be a game-changer, helping you to uncover the layers of grief as well as provide essential tools for coping.
Unexpected Bursts of Emotion
Maybe your loss has been a year or two, even five years in the past and suddenly, something triggers the emotion. Could be a song, a scent, a smell, a place, could be something that you found in a desk drawer. This burst of emotion may be surprising and unexpected to you, especially if you also feel it physically.
One thing I can tell you is that over time, these emotions, these bursts of emotion, bursts of grief, will soften and happen less frequently. It’s essential to allow yourself to feel these emotions fully, whether that means crying, resting, or engaging in a soothing activity.
Releasing Stuck Emotions Through Movement
Physical activities can be a powerful way to release emotions trapped in the body. In my Yoga for Grief classes, students often find relief through powerful movements and poses that help let go of deep-seated emotions. This movement enables a person to release grief pain opening up to hope and joy.
One student expressed how she felt such relief after a Yoga for Grief class. She reached out to tell me that the hardest thing for her, was the sadness around the death of her daughter. She felt like if she released these emotions, if she expressed these emotions, that it was kind of like she was losing a part of her daughter. After she took the brief class and was able to move her body, that she really felt wonderful.
“I think I try to avoid the pain as much possible because I can’t bear the sadness of missing her and all the unfulfilled dreams I had for her. Thank you for the healing yoga session.”
The Healing Power of Rest
Rest is an often overlooked but crucial part of the healing process. Incorporating restorative practices, like the restorative yoga at the end of my grief classes, can provide much-needed rest and rejuvenation. Restorative yoga sessions are built around a few yoga poses that you hold for five to 10 minutes at a time or longer. This practice helps clear your mind and allow you to relax your body. Benefits include: stress relief, lower blood pressure, relaxed mind, and deeply relaxed body.
The Journey Toward Softer Emotions
Over time, the intensity of grief typically softens. The strong emotions associated with the loss become less overwhelming, allowing room for joy and new experiences to enter your life. It's important to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel your emotions, which can lead to a gradual healing process.
Final Thoughts
Grief is deeply personal, and its hardest aspects will differ for everyone. Whether it’s financial worries, a profound sense of void, compounded losses, or sudden waves of emotion, recognizing and addressing these challenges is crucial. If you’re struggling with grief, consider exploring different coping mechanisms like therapy, physical activity, and restorative practices.
I’m interested to hear from you. What's the hardest part of your grief journey? Please reach out and share your experiences.
For more resources, you can check out my free guide, "Free Tips for Grief Relief,"