Navigating the Delicate Dance Between Love and Heartbreak
Have you ever found yourself at the crossroads of love and heartbreak? The pain and grief that accompany a broken heart are inevitable when we choose to love. As relationships shift, health changes, or we lose beloved pets and people, the concept of heartbreak has been occupying my thoughts in recent weeks, spurred by the shared pain of those close to me.
Some Reflections on Heartbreak
If you’ve ever owned a pet, you understand the palpable grief and deep sorrow after this loss. Sometimes the pain is so deep that you vow never to get another one because you don’t think you can stand this type of heartbreak again. I’ve certainly felt this way only to adopt another dog after a few years because I missed the companionship. The love we receive from our furry friends often outweighs the sorrow,
Another form of heartbreak comes with major life changes—a family member grappling with a challenging diagnosis, or the shifting dynamics of a relationship. This form of heartbreak is characterized by a profound sorrow for what is lost and the inherent helplessness to alter the course of events.
Yet, the most profound encounters with heartbreak often arise from the death of a family member or a close friend. Whether the departure is unexpected or the result of a long and inevitable decline, the waves of grief can be overwhelming. Personally, I have weathered many storms of grief, but none more challenging than the loss of my son.
It appears that heartbreak is an inevitable toll exacted for having loved deeply.
Releasing Raw Emotions to Help Heal Your Heart
When you experience a broken heart, the grief for what is lost manifest in various emotional and physical symptoms. Anger, blame, shame, and the relentless cycle of "would've, could've, should've" are some of the emotions that may arise along with your sorrow. Physically, one may experience stomachache, tiredness, confusion, and general muscle aches.
I recommend the following approach to help you release emotions as you navigate this journey of heartbreak and grief.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Move Your Body
Give Yourself Grace
Acknowledge Your Feelings and Find Relief
The importance of acknowledging how you feel can’t be underestimated. Burying your feelings inside will only exacerbate physical issues. In this healthline article, the authors noted that “research has linked emotional repression to decreased immune system function. If your immune system doesn’t work properly, you might get sick more frequently and recover slowly. Repressed emotions can also factor into mental health conditions, such as stress, anxiety, and depression.”
To get in touch with your feelings, it’s helpful to be in quiet solitude. Find a seated position on a yoga mat on the floor or in a chair. Feel your feet on the floor, connecting you to the earth, and your spine tall. Rest your hands in your lap. Close your eyes and feel the breath moving in the body. Inhale through the nose, and exhale through the nose. Stay here taking a few more breaths, feeling the body relax with each breath.
Slowly your mind will be relaxed as well and you can enjoy being in the present moment. Notice what feelings come arise. Allow them to surface, and let them go. Sometimes I find it helpful to put a name to the feelings – “hello anger, I know you are here”. It might seem a little silly at first, but it works to keep me in the present and out of the past or into the future.
Now, bring your hands to your heart and acknowledge the love lost. Maybe say the name. Maybe picture this person or persons in your mind’s eye. Tell them you love them. Notice what feelings arise and let them happen. Allow yourself to sit with the waves of love and loss, finding a centering force in the process. Keep your breath moving as you continue acknowledging your feelings.
Relax your hands by your side, take a few more breaths, open your eyes. Perhaps take some time to write about this experience or just sit quietly absorbing the energy of love and releasing the pain of loss.
Move Your Body to Release Grief Pain
Awareness of this emotional-physical connection is the first step to healing. Once you are attuned to these emotions, you can begin to identify where they live in your body and then move the body in specific ways to release pain. Sometimes it’s hard to notice where your grief lives in your body. Maybe you’ve never thought about it before or maybe you didn’t connect the dots between your grief and your physical pain. Becoming aware of where this pain lives is the first step to releasing it from the body.
As you become more attuned to your emotions, you will be able to identify the raw, powerful feelings—such as anger—and channel their energy through the forceful movement of the body. This allows for release, paving the way for rest and, ultimately, progress.
Give Yourself Grace
In the midst of heartbreak, remember to give yourself grace. It's okay to grieve, to feel the depths of sorrow, and to navigate the healing journey at your own pace. Recognize the strength in vulnerability and the courage it takes to open your heart despite the risk of heartbreak. As you navigate this delicate dance between love and heartbreak, be kind to yourself, offering the same compassion you would to a dear friend.
As Brené Brown poignantly said, "The brokenhearted are the bravest among us—they dared to love." This reflection on bravery in the face of heartbreak underscores the risks inherent in love, making it a compelling and enduring force.
Want more resources to help you navigate grief and loss? Download the Free Tips for Grief Relief Guide