Exploring the Stages and Theories of Grief

My experience as a yoga teacher (and one who has grieved a lot of loss) has shown me how grief impacts us physically, cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually. Over the past few years I’ve been interested to learn more about the clinical study of grief and how it validates (or doesn’t) what I’ve experienced.

Understanding the Five Stages of Grief:

You might be familiar with the five stages of grief introduced by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”. Based on her clinical experience with terminally ill patients, Kübler-Ross identified the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages have since been widely accepted as the framework for understanding grief.

However, for those of us who have experienced loss, this model can be somewhat misleading. The stages suggest a linear progression, which doesn't align with the reality of grieving. Grief is not a checklist; it’s an unpredictable journey. You might find yourself questioning where you are in the stages, wondering why you haven't moved past a certain phase, or feeling confused about your emotions.

Grief: A Non-Linear Experience:

In my own journey and through my studies, I’ve learned that grief is far from linear. Emotions ebb and flow, sometimes overwhelming us and other times receding. It’s like an echo effect, where intense feelings resurface unexpectedly. Imagine grief as a blob, like an amoeba, with emotions pulsing and changing shape within it. These emotions—anger, sadness, guilt, shock—come and go, intensifying and softening over time.

Research on Grief:

While the Kübler-Ross model has its place, it's important to recognize that grief is multi-faceted. Recent studies are exploring grief from both clinical and biological perspectives. The clinical view examines how grief affects our thinking, while the biological perspective looks at its impact on our bodies. For example, grief can increase heart rates, elevate blood pressure, and flood the body with stress hormones like cortisol.

Holistic Healing:

As a yoga teacher, I’m encouraged by the growing recognition of how grief affects the whole person. Practices like breathwork, mindfulness, and movement can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the body and mind. This holistic approach aligns with traditional Eastern philosophies and is now gaining traction in Western medicine.

Personal Reflections:

In my personal experience, grief has been an unpredictable companion. Shortly after my son died, I felt extreme anger and found release through physical activity, like chopping a bramble bush in my backyard. Yet, years later, that anger resurfaced. This ebb and flow of emotions is a natural part of the grieving process.

Grief Graphic

I’ve been thinking more about the idea of the grief amoeba, with its pulsing emotions, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you’re interested in this concept, I’ve created a graphic to illustrate it and would appreciate your feedback. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, or through my website to share your opinions and continue the conversation.

Conclusion:

Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey. By understanding its non-linear nature and exploring holistic healing methods, we can navigate our emotions and find ways to cope. Remember, it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, and it's okay to seek support. Let's continue to explore and grow together on this journey.

For further support, check out Free Tips for Grief Relief for techniques to help release grief emotions.